Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Today, one year ago, a woman whom I truly admired, left this earth to rest in the arms of Jesus. And then to say goodbye to her Granddad as well. This was the start of a long and winding year for me. A year in which, at times I felt truly alone, as if no one ever could understand, but where I knew that deep down I wasn't truly alone. After we said goodbye to her, the following month we said another goodbye. A Goodbye to a friend of my mom's that had been a friend to her longer than I have been alive. The same mean old nasty disease took both of them. My mom went through a time of trial with her health. I found I was walking a terrible walk with my teenage daughter, it could have been much worse, but to me, it was horrible. The lies, the deceit, the betrayal, the defiance....it was something I had never been through before. Then the "friends" that I thought were there for me, betrayed me and accused me of some bad mothering. Judged and beaten and feeling alone. Then the "stalking" began. We were afraid, a fear I never knew, until my girl was threatened. That is a scary thing. I was ready to leave my church, I was ready to leave my home and my life. I was ready to run away. Then God would remind me of His ever present faithfulness. He healed one friend, then another. He began restoring my heart and teaching me forgiveness for those who had hurt me. He began to show me that I needed to trust Him for my Daughter's safety and protection. He showed me that I had a partner who is with me through it all, and is holding my hand and reminding me of the God we serve. The One who I needed to be closest to, was right there the whole time. I am reminded that sometimes we don't understand where we are going on our journey, but, I know who leads me and where my journey ends.